I have had a lot of downtime at work lately. When I get tired of browsing the Internet, I just sit in silence and think. I stare at something, but what I am looking at is not what I see. I just zone out and think about any and everything. I love to just sit and reflect. This post has no direction or purpose, I am just kind of reflecting out loud.
I leave work at 6:30am, and every day while I am taking my time driving home, I see the rest of the world speeding to work. It feels good not being a part of that. Dawn is the most beautiful time of the day. Sometimes when I get home from work I don't even get out of my car right away. I just sit there. I just like being outside at dawn. It is very refreshing.
I love my family, but I also love waking up alone in complete silence. Sometimes I wake up and lay in my bed, looking at the ceiling for like five minutes just thinking about nothing. I also like waking up and going to sit in my living room to look at the pictures on my mantle. I know I can't sit there long because the responsibilities of the day await, but those quiet moments alone are precious to me. I need those moments.
I like going to the gym and listening to music. I listen to the music, I will sing along with the music in my head, but I don't actually listen to the music. I just think. I hope this is making sense and if it doesn't I'm sorry but I understand what I am trying to say. I don't know how it is possible to actually sing a song word for word all while having a totally different thought going through my mind, but I do it. I think this is why I can work out for so long because my mind goes through this process and I don't even realize what I am doing while I am doing it.
Same thing goes with basketball. I played basketball in college, and when I played my best I wasn't even thinking about the game. So much emphasis by my coaches was put on focus, but during the game I wasn't even thinking about basketball. It was like an afterthought. I would be thinking about what I am going to eat after the game, what my mom was doing, does my car need gas, and other random stuff like that. Then all of a sudden I would realize that I made a three pointer, or realize I am running a complicated offense. I would kind of wake up and tell myself, "I can't believe I am doing this," but from the outside looking in you would think I was the most focused and intense person on the court. I don't know it is kind of hard to explain.
I never realized it, but there are times where I go hours and hours without saying a word. I like it. I like being in public by myself. I like going out to restaurants by myself. When I tell people I go out to eat by myself, they look at me like I am weird, but I don't care what people think. I think going to Olive Garden in the afternoon by myself is normal. If I want some pasta or zuppa toscana, will I enjoy my meal any less if I eat it by myself? It tastes the same to me. Same thing goes with the movies. My movie watching experience is not enhanced if I do it with someone else. It is still the same movie.
I leave work at 6:30am, and every day while I am taking my time driving home, I see the rest of the world speeding to work. It feels good not being a part of that. Dawn is the most beautiful time of the day. Sometimes when I get home from work I don't even get out of my car right away. I just sit there. I just like being outside at dawn. It is very refreshing.
I love my family, but I also love waking up alone in complete silence. Sometimes I wake up and lay in my bed, looking at the ceiling for like five minutes just thinking about nothing. I also like waking up and going to sit in my living room to look at the pictures on my mantle. I know I can't sit there long because the responsibilities of the day await, but those quiet moments alone are precious to me. I need those moments.
I like going to the gym and listening to music. I listen to the music, I will sing along with the music in my head, but I don't actually listen to the music. I just think. I hope this is making sense and if it doesn't I'm sorry but I understand what I am trying to say. I don't know how it is possible to actually sing a song word for word all while having a totally different thought going through my mind, but I do it. I think this is why I can work out for so long because my mind goes through this process and I don't even realize what I am doing while I am doing it.
Same thing goes with basketball. I played basketball in college, and when I played my best I wasn't even thinking about the game. So much emphasis by my coaches was put on focus, but during the game I wasn't even thinking about basketball. It was like an afterthought. I would be thinking about what I am going to eat after the game, what my mom was doing, does my car need gas, and other random stuff like that. Then all of a sudden I would realize that I made a three pointer, or realize I am running a complicated offense. I would kind of wake up and tell myself, "I can't believe I am doing this," but from the outside looking in you would think I was the most focused and intense person on the court. I don't know it is kind of hard to explain.
I never realized it, but there are times where I go hours and hours without saying a word. I like it. I like being in public by myself. I like going out to restaurants by myself. When I tell people I go out to eat by myself, they look at me like I am weird, but I don't care what people think. I think going to Olive Garden in the afternoon by myself is normal. If I want some pasta or zuppa toscana, will I enjoy my meal any less if I eat it by myself? It tastes the same to me. Same thing goes with the movies. My movie watching experience is not enhanced if I do it with someone else. It is still the same movie.
I think I am done rambling for now. If you made it this far, I appreciate it.
Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned...
It doesn't change things doing them by yourself. Being by yourself is cool I love being by myself unless I'm around people i want to enjoy things with. Sometimes i will think of the funniest things when I'm by myself and laugh out loud, and enjoy the looks, at the same time wishing some one was there to laugh with me. I think you enjoy it more since you grew up an only child.
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