Birthday...

I wanted to take the time out to wish my friend Tramell a happy birthday today. Unfortunately I will not be able to do that in person. You see, Tramell is in prison. Earlier this year he was convicted of multiple counts of bank robbery. He has not be sentenced yet, but his charges carry a mandatory minimum federal prison sentence of 32 years.

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Now if you are reading this and you don't know Tramell, you may think he is a horrible person. Well I know Tramell better than most people in this world, and I can tell you he is far from it. He is a good person with a good heart... who just made some bad decisions. I am in no way trying to justify what he was convicted of, but I know he was going through a lot before he got into his situation. His little brother died of leukemia at 19, his other little brother was locked up, and he had multiple other issues going on in his life.

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Me and Tramell go waaaay back. We grew up together. It was me, Tramell, Josh, and Shannon. We all came from the same situation. None of us had a father... and our families were poor. We all loved basketball, girls, and we loved to gamble. When you seen one of us, you would see all of us. We were like brothers. When I look back at the things we have been through together... I can't help but smile. Our maturation from boys to men is the topic of the book that I am writing. We always said that if we made a movie about the things we did one day, nobody would believe us. Well we will see...

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We shared soooo many experiences together. I will never forget...

-us gambling at Stevens park
-us dissing each others mom's (your grandma still be watching wrestling???)
-the first time I dunked at Jordan park and he was HATING
-all of us walking at night into the West End with just a basketball, finding a court with lights, and everyone coming home with a bike
-walking home from Liz house when the sun came up
-you beeper code 11-6
-the time he fell down the hill with the hockey stick
-the time we went to that chick crib with Shannon in Easton and Shannon saying "don't laugh at this chick when you see her"
-Life After Death
-him stealing tapes at the mall and making mad noise while breaking the plastic
-us working at Burger King together for ONE day
-him crashing the car we "found" on Josh's block
-the night at that party in Whitehall... Billy Bob... All Eyez on me... Dina's Diner...
-Shaleese and Tiffany fighting over him, pulling each others hair out in the Annex
-the alley oop I threw him when he dunked on Stephan(still one of the best dunks I have ever seen)
-Coming of Age
-him arguing with Shannon for 5 hours straight in the parking lot behind my crib about EVERYTHING(can you ride bike under water, Kobe vs Vince, hydroplaning, etc.)
-dissing Will at Jamel's crib
-Group with Ms Miller
-3 Renee's
-gambling on new years and not even realizing the new year was upon us
-me messing up his hair cuts
-Saturday mornings playing basketball at the SA
-gambling at Josh's crib for 48 hours straight
-the Central Catholic girls
-me crashing Liz car, and Shannon's uncle Willie locking him out of the house
-the crib in Catty
-Boones
-us playing Madden at the crib on 12th st all day
-Rosie Perez
-all of us buying those jackets on Fulton St and having our names sewn on them
-him throwing Kim's sneakers out of the window
-us watching Shannon cry when the Lakers beat the Blazers
-Kenny
-the Asian chick that played Josh at my crib on 11th st
-us sitting on the porch at midnight... then deciding to go to Ocean City Maryland the next day... with less than a hundred dollars combined and no spare tire in the Camry
-Atlantic City... Atlantic City... Atlantic City

I could go on... and on... and on... and I will one day, but not now. All I can say is I treasure our friendship and the moments we had. Every time me and Shannon talk, we always end up laughing about the things we have been through together. It makes me sad when I realize that we may never all hang out ever again. I know things are hard right now... but I also know if there is anyone mentally tough enough to handle that situation, it is Tramell. Hopefully today he is able to close his eyes, and take himself to a better place in his mind.

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Happy Birthday Tramell. You are my brother. We love you... we miss you... and you will never be forgotten.

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Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned...

Pain...

That's what I feel right now. I am sad. The Allentown Humane Society killed Fiona. In my last post I talked about Fiona scratched Nani, and how Nani took her to the Humane Society. Well me and Nani talked on Saturday night and Sunday morning, and we decided that we would go back to get Fiona, and have her declawed and fixed. I initially did not want to get her declawed. To my understanding getting a cat declawed was cruel and it would change the behavior of the cat. If that was the only way for us to keep her though, I was willing to do it.

So Nani and I agreed to meet at the Humane Society when I got off of work yesterday. Well traffic was bad for me, so she got there first. While on my way I get a phone call from Nani... and she is crying. She proceeds to tell me that they put her to sleep last night. She said that since she was deemed aggressive, they put her down. Now I am pissed. When Nani took her there the day before, she advised the worker that she did not trust her around our 3 year old daughter, and that she would probably be salvageable in another home. She was too aggressive for our home, but maybe not someone elses. She was told that Fiona would have the opportunity to be adopted. Then less then 24 hours later, my cat was dead.

So I finally arrive and Nani is in the car still crying. So I go into the Humane society and start asking questions. The receptionist who acted like she didn't give a DAMN, said that once the owner signs over the rights to the pet, that they can do whatever they want to it. So I asked her what about giving her the opportunity to be adopted??? She said that since they were at capacity, that at the humane societies discretion they can put the cat down if they see fit. So I ask her... why not put another cat down that has already been here for a while and that has had the opportunity to be adopted... instead of a cat that just got here?? Now her head was down and she was already doing something else, so I started to become more angry. She mumbled this bullshit ass answer to me, which I didn't even hear because I was enraged inside. I really wanted to go off on this women due to her lack of compassion and inconsistent information, but I caught myself. I understood it was a no win situation, my cat was already dead, and that would just make the situation worse. So I just left.

I am still so mad. I'm not mad at Nani, I'm just mad at the whole situation. I didn't want to just go to the humane society the same day and get my cat, because I didn't want to just go over Nani's head after she had already made a decision. Plus I felt secure in knowing they weren't going to kill my cat right away. I knew she was acting on emotion, and I knew I could calm her down and maybe change her mind after we talked about it. And I did, but it was too late.

It just makes me sad because Fiona deserved better than that. She deserved another chance. She just wanted to chill and play. I mean she would take a swipe at you if she felt she needed to defend herself, but she was a cat and that's what cats do. She would still let you you pick her up, pet her, and she would still lay with you. It has been two days, and our home already doesn't feel the same. I was so used to her. She was part of our family... and now she is gone. I know time will heal the pain, but it hurts right now. I love you Fiona and I am sorry.

Oh... and FUCK THE ALLENTOWN HUMANE SOCIETY!!!

Ok that's all for now... thank you for vising and stay tuned...

Gone...

My cat Fiona no longer lives with us. Nani tried to pick her up, and the cat scratched her on the forehead. Fiona then proceeded to hiss at her for a while. Nani got mad and ended up taking the cat to the humane society. All this happened while I wasn't home, so I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to her. I feel like the relationship could have worked, but getting their personalities to co-exist wasn't easy. There are times where the cat is going to be a cat, and she is going to get defensive. I understood that and so did Nani, but she didn't care. She always worried about the cat scratching our daughter, and the cat scratching her was the last straw. So now my kitten is in some cage... probably sad and missing home. I miss her too. Damn.

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Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned...

women-food... food-women...

There are many different types of foods, just as there are many types of women. Some are good for you, some are bad. Some are sweet... and some are salty. Sometimes the ones that you know are bad for you, you want anyway. Other times the ones that you know are good for you, you would rather do without. Some are appetizers(girl you may be with for now... until you find something else), some may be side dishes(girl on the side), and some are late night snacks(girl you only "crave" at night). Some women may be a combination of a few these things... I like to call those women salads.

Now women can be categorized in many ways, but there can only be one main course. This is what I would consider a committed girlfriend or wife. People always wonder how a man can have a beautiful woman, but still cheat on her. In this instance, lets compare the girlfriend or wife, to a perfect steak. She is warm, tender, soft, and delicious. She is the finest delicacy in the world, and no other food can compare. Now even though it is delicious, no man wants to eat steak every day. There are those times when a man just wants to eat a sloppy cheeseburger. So even though a man has this beautiful, one of a kind woman... he may get tired of her. He may start craving something different, even if the quality and taste isn't as good as what he already has.

So one might ask... why don't all men cheat? Well most do, but I can use my personal experience to tell you why I don't. My woman is like chicken. I loooove chicken. She is never the same type of chicken though. There are days when she is tender baked chicken, soft and juicy. Other days she is fried chicken, rough and greasy. She has also been grilled chicken, bbq chicken, teriyaki chicken, cajun chicken, chicken nuggets, chicken pot pie, so on and so forth. She may do different things to present herself differently, but she is still chicken. She may switch up her hair, sassiness, style of dress, make-up, attitude... but she is still the same girl. She keeps me guessing, keeps herself fresh, and always keeps me coming back for more.

So yeah... I compare women to food. I guess I just think too much... I don't know. Some may not agree. I just felt like I would share, and give people something to chew on. All I know is that all of this talk is making me hungry. I going to call Nani now... and ask her what she is cooking up for me tonight.

Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned...

Mom...

Mothers day is this Sunday, so I wanted to take a moment to talk about my mother.

My mother is a great woman. She is the model of sacrifice, dedication, and hard work. She instilled morals and values in that I still call on to help me get through life. I couldn't have asked for a better influence on my life, and for her I am forever grateful.

Growing up, it was always just me and her. I had no father, and no brothers and sisters. She never got any child support. We got a little assistance through welfare, but that was it. She was a white woman... no money... raising a minority child... all alone. I know it was hard for her, but she never let me see it. She was always optimistic and positive, and I needed that.

Times were hard though. Food was always a problem. We never had enough. We would walk to the IGA on 12th and Walnut and go food shopping every Saturday with like 20-30 dollars. My mom would somehow stretch that out and make it last for the week. My dinners may have consisted of liver and lima beans, but I was always fed.

I have a lot of food stories. I remember there was a time when my mom didn't have any money for food, and she was just sitting on the kitchen floor crying. I was like 12. I had 5 dollars in my pocket. I got the money by selling my free lunch ticket at school. I used that money to gamble... that was my hustle. I would always find something to eat along the way. So while she is there crying, I went to my friends house where some of the older kids gambled. We pitched pennies, rolled dice, and played cards. That must of been my lucky night, because I ended up turning that 5 dollars into $120. I was soooo happy. I will never forget running home down 9th St and through Hess's, excited to tell my mom. When I showed her the money, she gave me a big hug. I was so happy to have been able to help her, because I hated to see her struggle.

When I got a little older and 30 dollars just wasn't enough for both of us to eat, we started to go to the Food Bank. I will never forget there was this one Saturday morning that I DID NOT feel like going. You see I was in 11 grade then, and I was the starting quarterback on the football team. I will never forget that morning, because it was the day after our first game that season. We played Lancaster McCaskey and I had a good game--such a good good that my name was in the headline of the newspaper article written about it(even though they spelled it wrong :-/). Well duty called, and no matter who I thought I was, my mom still made me get up and help her carry food home from the food bank. What made it worse is that when you get food from the Food Bank it doesn't come in bags, it comes in boxes. So here I am... nice big article in the paper that morning mostly written about me... and I'm walking home with this box of food from the food bank. Those were the most embarrassing experiences for me, but also some of the most important. She made me humble, and I needed that.

I could go on... and on... and on... and on... about the lesson's in life she taught me, but I will keep it short for now(I may write a book about it one day though). I am very lucky to have had her in my life. There have been many times in my life when there was a crucial decision to be made, and instead of going down the wrong path, I called on the advice and lessons from my mother. It always ended up being the right decision. There were so many negative influences all around like drugs, guns, and everything else, but no influence was as strong as the influence from my mother. Thanks for everything Mom. I love you. I appreciate you more than you will ever know. If you ever read this, I hope you liked the digital picture frame I got you for mothers day.

Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned...

Experience...

I have been an assistant high school basketball coach for the last three years. During that time, I have tried to teach the kids as much as I could about basketball. More importantly, I have tried to teach the kids as much as I could about life.

You see, I was one of these kids. I went to the same school. I came from the same single parent, low-income households as they did. I walked the same streets and had the same experiences. There aren't many male minority role models in our community, so when I was approached about helping out, I was more than happy to accept. I felt it was my responsibility to give back.

Earning the kids respect was no problem. I was young, cool, and I could still play. I also had no problem with the kids opening up to me. In our conversations, I tried to stress the importance of education, being humble, and just being an overall good person. I also tried to convince the kids that sex is something they should wait to do. I understood I was dealing with young 10th graders with uncontrollable sexual curiosity, so I also stressed the importance of wearing a condom if they were going to experiment. I tried to make sure they knew I wasn't saying this to try to deprive them of anything, but that I was just talking from experience.

You see, I had a child when I was 17 years old. I was in 12th grade. I was a good athlete, and I was getting letters and calls from colleges across the country. Having a child limited my options. My life and my choices were no longer just about me. Having a child was the defining factor on where I would eventually go to school. I couldn't go too far away, and leave my responsibilities as a father. In talking to the kids, I always used myself and my experience as an example. And for the most part, it seemed like they got it.

Well about a month ago, I got the news that one of the kids who was graduating this year is expecting a child. The moment that thought processed through my mind, this feeling of disappointment came over me. It wasn't even disappointment in him though... it was disappointment in me. I kind of felt like it was my fault, and I felt like I failed him. Maybe I didn't talk about sex enough with him? Maybe I didn't stress enough the importance of wearing a condom? I just kept asking myself if there was anything I could have said or done differently in our three year relationship that could have prevented this from happening. After I let it sink in, I realized that it wasn't my fault. I realized that I can't save the world. I can just give advice about things I have learned through my experiences, and hopefully some of it will stick.

I recently had a long conversation with the young man, and I tried to again use my experience to help prepare him for what he is about to go through. He said he and the girl aren't on the best of terms right now. I tried to make sure he understands the importance of that relationship, and how he has to do whatever it takes to make it remain civil... even if they don't end up together. This is an emotional time for her, so I made sure he understands he needs to console her, and help her though this. This is not the time to be macho. He has to swallow his pride. He has to go to appointments with her, talk to her, be supportive and positive at all times. He has plans on going to school 4 hours away. I urged him to reconsider, and maybe go to a community college for 2 years. His help will be needed at home. Not only that, but he wants to make sure he builds a strong foundation with the child while the child is young. I tried to explain to him that there are certain moments that he will never be able to get back if he is away. Sacrifices like this are part of becoming a father, and becoming a man. Throughout our whole conversation, he looked me in the eye and it seemed like he was really valuing what I was saying to him.

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This past Sunday, I actually seen him and her together. They were talking, holding hands, and they looked relatively happy together. He looked back at me and he smiled. It was kind of one of those thank you smiles. At that moment I felt good, and I felt like he took something away from our conversation. Hopefully he can continue to use the advice from the things that I have learned through my experiences, to make his experience during these times a positive one.

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Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned...

Pictures...

This blog needs some pictures. They say pictures are worth a thousand words, so I will provide a brief description, and let them do the rest of the talking. Some of the pictures are graphic, but I feel they need to been seen. Often times we get so caught up living in our own little bubble, that we become oblivious to everything else that is going on in the world. Ok enough of me talking, here you go...

Wow...

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Undying Love...

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.How can we as people let this happen???

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Is being a hero really worth it?

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Imagine what this man has gone through

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Education

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Too little...

...too late.

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This picture is of a Sudanese child attempting to crawl to a United Nations food camp, while a vulture is waiting for the him to die so he can eat him. The photographer who took this photo later committed suicide due to this and other unbearable things he witnessed.

Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned...

Popeyes...

To say Popeyes chicken makes me happy is an understatement. Some people say it's just chicken... but I say it is more than that.

Every time I visit this fine establishment, I never go through the drive-thru. I would be cheating myself of the full Popeyes experience if I did. Upon setting foot in the restaurant, there is this feeling of euphoria that comes over me. No matter how hard my day was, or how much stress I am feeling at the time, it all goes away as soon as I enter.

I think it has the same effect on others as well. Complete strangers of all different backgrounds come together while they are in Popeyes. People who wouldn't have otherwise interacted, are engaging in conversation, smiling, even giving hi-fives and hugging, all while waiting for some chicken. There has to be some sort of ingredient they put in there food that brings out sheer joy in people.

Despite the great atmosphere inside Popeyes, I always take my food home. I have to eat in calm, controlled environment. It helps me fully enjoy the moment. I keep the TV off, put my phone on silent, and just sit piece and try to take it all in. I also have to make sure I set aside about an hour after I am done eating for a nap.

The food is just soooo good. The chicken is so tender, the skin is always fried to perfection, and the right amount of grease is always applied. I don't even need napkins. I refuse to waste any of the grease, so I just lick it off my fingers. The mashed potatoes are always so warm, so buttery, and so are the biscuits. The gravy is the perfect compliment to both. The french fries are perfectly seasoned, perfectly crisp. A glass of any calorie packed beverage makes the meal complete. Some may think this kind of meal isn't good for your health, but I couldn't care less. Sometimes you just have to live.

I really didn't want to write this much about Popeyes, but it just shows how strongly I feel about them. So the next time you get hungry and aren't sure what to eat, go to Popeyes. You will not be disappointed. You may want to go to Popeyes, even when you aren't hungry. Maybe you are having a bad day... you are arguing with your girl... or you are just bored. Stop by Popeyes, and I guarantee it will make you feel better.

Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned...

Welcome...

This world will never be the same.

My friend Toomey just celebrated the birth of his first child. GraceAnna Elizabeth Anderson was born today at weighing in at 8 pounds 2 ounces, and measuring in at 20 inches. I got kind of emotional(I didn't cry or anything) because it kind of brought me back to when my I had my children. There is an overwhelming feeling of joy and purpose that comes over you when you become a father, so I know how he is feeling right now.

I just wanted to take the time out to congratulate Toomey and Liz on this wonderful day, and their wonderful addition to the world.

Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned...