My first love...

I love her. I still love her. When me and her are together, I don't even consider it cheating. Only with her though. I mean... I did know her first? She was my first love you know? I know I'm grown and I know I am in a relationship, but I just can't let her go. I know for some this may be hard to understand, so I will try to do my best to explain...

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When I was young, I would always see her around my way. At first, I never gave her much thought. Probably because I was little, she was older, and she mostly hung with the big kids. Most of my time was spent playing Nintendo, or playing football at the park. We would see each other in passing, and I would never give her a second glance. My mom used to laugh at me because she knew when I got older, I would start to like her. She was right.

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One day I just happened to be at my friends house... at the same time she was there. My friend Will introduced me to her. I was shy at first, but after a while I opened up and we started to play together. She was cool... cooler than I expected. When I left his house that night, she came with me. I had a lot of fun walking her home. It was dark out, and there would be times that I would lose her. She would make me chase her to get her back. She had me intrigued, and I wanted to get to know all about her after that.

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From that day on, we would start to spend a lot of time together. I would walk her to school, take her to the park, the pool, everywhere. We used to chill in front of my house all of the time... just me and her. My mom would get mad because she said we made too much noise. I was just trying to get to know her, trying to get a better feel for her. The more time we spent together, the more comfortable with her I became. I would take her out back to the parking lot and show her off. The other kids would always try to steal her from me. They couldn't though, because I had a good handle on her. I had game. If at any point I felt threatened by them, I would just tell her to bounce, and we would be gone. When they realized they couldn't take her, they started hating on me. They tried to block me, but somehow I would always get over.

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When I got to high school, there was more competition for her. Me and her were still close, but she did spend time with others as well. That was fine with me, because I knew I would always catch her on the rebound. Plus I spent time flirting with others and doing my own thing. I had other relationships that in some people's eyes were better for me... but I didn't care. They said was I was crazy for not putting my all into those. I tried, but it just wasn't there. Those other relationships may have been a better fit for me, but she was always my favorite. My heart was with her.

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When I went to college we took a year off, then got back together. This time it was serious. It was all about her. All of my time was dedicated to improving our relationship. Sure she would give me money and take me places... but there were also times where she would become stressful, and more of a burden on me than anything else. I think I was just too young to really understand the opportunity I had with her. Those were some of the best times of my life, but I didn't want to work hard to obtain them anymore. After 2 steady years, I let her go.

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That leads me today. She is still around, but we can never be as serious as we once were. I have a wife now. Another love interest would just complicate things. She is still important to me, but she plays a different role in my life now. I like to sit back and watch her, instead of trying to be with her all of the time. Since I know her well, I try to teach others as much as I can about her, so maybe they can benefit from the opportunities she brings. There are still a few times a week I get away to see her, especially in the summer. Just being with her takes me to a better place in my mind. When we are together she has my full undivided attention, and I couldn't care less about anything else going on in the world.

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Nani knows that I go see her sometimes. She doesn't like it, because she says it takes away from our time together. Now Nani knows that I'm all hers, but she still can't seem to understand why I associate with an old love interest. She always says... "it's only basketball... it's only a game." NO. Basketball is much more than that to me. We have a past. We have history. She is my passion. Basketball taught me how to be generous, be disciplined, and use perseverance. For those reasons, I don't think I will be able to fully ever let her go.

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Me and basketball will never get back what we once had, and that's ok. I am just thankful to still have her in my life in some way, shape, or form. I still work out at the gym, so I can be at my best when I play in recreation league games. I am an assistant high school basketball coach in the winter. I don't play in rec leagues to see if I still have it. I don't coach for money. I do it for the love. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be who I am today. She is and she will always be... my first love.

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And I'm sorry mom for dribbling the ball in front of the house all of the time, making all that noise.

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Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned...