When I was in high school, I was in a program called "Group." Group was a program designed to help at risk kids by giving them the opportunity to talk about their issues, providing incentives for reaching academic and behavioral goals, and by giving them the extra guidance and support they needed in hopes of achieving a better future. The program started from 9Th grade and continued through graduation.
.
Group was a program created by Ms. Miller, a guidance counselor at my school. She was a very energetic and optimistic woman who was very passionate about her job. She really wanted to make a difference in the lives of others. The program was not a requirement for her, but a personal challenge that she wanted to take on. And as a middle aged white woman, it would be no small task attempting to get through to a bunch of disobedient minority children.
Group was a program created by Ms. Miller, a guidance counselor at my school. She was a very energetic and optimistic woman who was very passionate about her job. She really wanted to make a difference in the lives of others. The program was not a requirement for her, but a personal challenge that she wanted to take on. And as a middle aged white woman, it would be no small task attempting to get through to a bunch of disobedient minority children.
.
The kids in the Group were myself, Tramell, Josh, Mark, Deante, Sheldon, Lamar, Elliot, and Veliano. We all either came from broken homes, gotten in trouble, or had some other type of behavioral or emotional issues.
The kids in the Group were myself, Tramell, Josh, Mark, Deante, Sheldon, Lamar, Elliot, and Veliano. We all either came from broken homes, gotten in trouble, or had some other type of behavioral or emotional issues.
.
We would meet for Group in an empty conference room at least one time a week during our free period. In the beginning, none of us kids took it too serious. While Ms. Miller would be attempting to have a serious discussion with us, everyone would be playing around, talking, not listening, or not participating. Ms. Miller would get so frustrated... sometimes to the point where she would have to leave the room to regain her composure. There was one day in particular where she left the room crying because Josh and Sheldon were throwing books. I know there were times where she felt helpless, but she never gave up on us. She kept trying on trying and trying. She was determined to see us through.
We would meet for Group in an empty conference room at least one time a week during our free period. In the beginning, none of us kids took it too serious. While Ms. Miller would be attempting to have a serious discussion with us, everyone would be playing around, talking, not listening, or not participating. Ms. Miller would get so frustrated... sometimes to the point where she would have to leave the room to regain her composure. There was one day in particular where she left the room crying because Josh and Sheldon were throwing books. I know there were times where she felt helpless, but she never gave up on us. She kept trying on trying and trying. She was determined to see us through.
.
Ms. Miller would periodically invite minority role models from the community to come in and talk to us about life, listen to our issues, and give us positive motivation. Most of the men would come by one time and say they would be back, but would never return. It would be funny because after a while when someone came and left we would all be in the room saying, "we won't see him again."
Ms. Miller would periodically invite minority role models from the community to come in and talk to us about life, listen to our issues, and give us positive motivation. Most of the men would come by one time and say they would be back, but would never return. It would be funny because after a while when someone came and left we would all be in the room saying, "we won't see him again."
.
There were two men who did come back though. One was Mr. King and the other was Mr. Durant.
There were two men who did come back though. One was Mr. King and the other was Mr. Durant.
.
Mr. King was a probation officer. He looked like he could have been an actor who played in one of those black cinema movies from the 70's. He was big and strong, but cool and smooth at the same time. He used to always rock this brown leather jacket while wearing some aviator cool guy shades.
Mr. King was a probation officer. He looked like he could have been an actor who played in one of those black cinema movies from the 70's. He was big and strong, but cool and smooth at the same time. He used to always rock this brown leather jacket while wearing some aviator cool guy shades.
.
Mr. King kept it real with us. He would never sugarcoat anything to make it better than it seemed. He encouraged us to be open and honest, no matter how bad we thought our revelations would be. He would warn us about the consequences of our actions, and give us examples of kids he dealt with that went the wrong way. When he was done speaking, the rest of his time would be spent sitting in on our sessions making sure we didn't go crazy. After a while, it got to the point where Mr. King was at just about every Group meeting we had.
Mr. King kept it real with us. He would never sugarcoat anything to make it better than it seemed. He encouraged us to be open and honest, no matter how bad we thought our revelations would be. He would warn us about the consequences of our actions, and give us examples of kids he dealt with that went the wrong way. When he was done speaking, the rest of his time would be spent sitting in on our sessions making sure we didn't go crazy. After a while, it got to the point where Mr. King was at just about every Group meeting we had.
.
Mark and Deante were Mr. Kings favorites, but he was cool with all of us. He took Deante and let him use his car for his drivers license test. He took me and Sheldon out to breakfast once. He would do other things for everyone else when he could, which was cool. We all pretty much got along with Mr. King.
Mark and Deante were Mr. Kings favorites, but he was cool with all of us. He took Deante and let him use his car for his drivers license test. He took me and Sheldon out to breakfast once. He would do other things for everyone else when he could, which was cool. We all pretty much got along with Mr. King.
.
And then there was Mr. Durant.
And then there was Mr. Durant.
.
Mr. Durant was a former minor league baseball player turned successful businessman. He had salt and pepper colored hair, and always had on a nice sweater. He kind of reminded me of Bill Cosby. He would always give us these firm handshakes that would hurt our hands. Josh would always laugh when he would shake one of our hands because he could see our faces cringe.
Mr. Durant was a former minor league baseball player turned successful businessman. He had salt and pepper colored hair, and always had on a nice sweater. He kind of reminded me of Bill Cosby. He would always give us these firm handshakes that would hurt our hands. Josh would always laugh when he would shake one of our hands because he could see our faces cringe.
.
It's not everyday kids like us met a black man who is a millionaire, so when Mr. Durant came around he had our undivided attention. He was a very busy man who had no time for nonsense, and we understood that. He would talk us about the importance of hard work, character, and commitment. When he was felt strongly about something, he would curse to accentuate it. That would make us laugh. When we got a good report card or achieved some other type of incentive, Mr. Durant would reward us with many nice things.
It's not everyday kids like us met a black man who is a millionaire, so when Mr. Durant came around he had our undivided attention. He was a very busy man who had no time for nonsense, and we understood that. He would talk us about the importance of hard work, character, and commitment. When he was felt strongly about something, he would curse to accentuate it. That would make us laugh. When we got a good report card or achieved some other type of incentive, Mr. Durant would reward us with many nice things.
.
I remember there was one time he took all of us to Outback Steakhouse. Me and the rest of the kids from the Group had never been to a restaurant like that before. When it was my turn to order, I told the waiter I just wanted a cheeseburger. I remember he looked at me and said... " boy I brought you to a steakhouse and you are going to order a damn cheeseburger??" I did look over the menu, I was just unfamiliar with everything else on it. Then he turned to the waiter and said... "get that boy a damn steak!" That was pretty funny. The steak was pretty good too.
I remember there was one time he took all of us to Outback Steakhouse. Me and the rest of the kids from the Group had never been to a restaurant like that before. When it was my turn to order, I told the waiter I just wanted a cheeseburger. I remember he looked at me and said... " boy I brought you to a steakhouse and you are going to order a damn cheeseburger??" I did look over the menu, I was just unfamiliar with everything else on it. Then he turned to the waiter and said... "get that boy a damn steak!" That was pretty funny. The steak was pretty good too.
.
Then there was the time he took me, Josh, and Sheldon to a Philadelphia Eagles game.
Then there was the time he took me, Josh, and Sheldon to a Philadelphia Eagles game.
.
He picked us up early that Sunday morning in a nice, new Cadillac. I sat in the front seat which made me feel like a million bucks, when in reality I only had like four dollars in my pocket.
He picked us up early that Sunday morning in a nice, new Cadillac. I sat in the front seat which made me feel like a million bucks, when in reality I only had like four dollars in my pocket.
.
Before the game, he took us out for breakfast at a diner in South Philly. He talked about his struggles as kid, his baseball career, among many other things. That was a good conversation where we got to learn a lot about Mr. Durant.
.
When we got to the stadium he realized out of the four tickets he had, two were for one row and two were for another row in the same section. So he grabbed me and he said we will go sit in one row, and Josh and Sheldon would go sit in the other. Josh and Sheldon laughed when he said that, and I knew exactly why. Everyone used to always joke around and say Mr. Durant was my father because they thought he liked me the most. I could only dream that he was my dad.
.
The whole game Josh and Sheldon were acting crazy, then turning around laughing at me because they knew I had to be on my best behavior. It was cool though because I was having a good time, while also getting the chance to spend time listening to Mr. Durant talk about life. It was a win/win for me.
The whole game Josh and Sheldon were acting crazy, then turning around laughing at me because they knew I had to be on my best behavior. It was cool though because I was having a good time, while also getting the chance to spend time listening to Mr. Durant talk about life. It was a win/win for me.
.
After the game he again took us out to eat, but this time it was at this really nice restaurant. We had a big meal, and we even ordered desert. Mr. Durant pulled out a stack of 50's and paid for it like it was nothing. It wasn't like Mr. Durant was throwing his money around just because he could either, or for publicity or notoriety. He really wanted us to show us that hard work and doing things the right way really paid off.
After the game he again took us out to eat, but this time it was at this really nice restaurant. We had a big meal, and we even ordered desert. Mr. Durant pulled out a stack of 50's and paid for it like it was nothing. It wasn't like Mr. Durant was throwing his money around just because he could either, or for publicity or notoriety. He really wanted us to show us that hard work and doing things the right way really paid off.
.
Both Mr. King and Mr Durant were cool, but Miss Miller was the rock of the Group. She put her heart and soul into us, even if at times she felt like she wasn't getting through. Day after day she would keep pushing and pushing in an attempt to break us down. She would constantly ask us about our problems. If we had any issues with our teachers, she wanted to know. If we had problems at home, on the street, or with girls, she wanted to know. She wanted us to talk about our problems, instead of holding in our feelings and emotions until they boiled over and something bad happened.
Both Mr. King and Mr Durant were cool, but Miss Miller was the rock of the Group. She put her heart and soul into us, even if at times she felt like she wasn't getting through. Day after day she would keep pushing and pushing in an attempt to break us down. She would constantly ask us about our problems. If we had any issues with our teachers, she wanted to know. If we had problems at home, on the street, or with girls, she wanted to know. She wanted us to talk about our problems, instead of holding in our feelings and emotions until they boiled over and something bad happened.
.
After a while we started to realize Ms. Miller really cared about us, and wasn't just doing the things she did because it was her job. It got to the point where instead of being defiant with her, we were respectful with her. Instead of her constantly trying to get things out of us, we would willingly confide in her. Instead of talking about how we got in trouble for something, we would talk about how we prevented ourselves from getting trouble. Now we didn't become perfect angels or anything, but things got better. Ms. Miller earned our trust, and was getting through to us. We all became so fond of her that we would go visit her in her office every day, not just the days we had Group sessions. Instead of just being our counselor, she became like a second mother to us.
After a while we started to realize Ms. Miller really cared about us, and wasn't just doing the things she did because it was her job. It got to the point where instead of being defiant with her, we were respectful with her. Instead of her constantly trying to get things out of us, we would willingly confide in her. Instead of talking about how we got in trouble for something, we would talk about how we prevented ourselves from getting trouble. Now we didn't become perfect angels or anything, but things got better. Ms. Miller earned our trust, and was getting through to us. We all became so fond of her that we would go visit her in her office every day, not just the days we had Group sessions. Instead of just being our counselor, she became like a second mother to us.
.
By the time our senior year came, our Group sessions went from discussing our problems, to discussing our plans for after graduation. We talked about getting jobs, as well as going to college. Ms Miller would notify us of upcoming job fairs, help us with college applications, student loan applications, and assist us with anything else we needed. We also became mentors for 9Th graders who would become the next generation of Group once we were gone.
By the time our senior year came, our Group sessions went from discussing our problems, to discussing our plans for after graduation. We talked about getting jobs, as well as going to college. Ms Miller would notify us of upcoming job fairs, help us with college applications, student loan applications, and assist us with anything else we needed. We also became mentors for 9Th graders who would become the next generation of Group once we were gone.
.
Mr King was still around, as was Mr. Durant. Mr Durant found out that nobody got senior pictures because we couldn't afford them, so he paid for all of us to get pictures taken at Sears. None of us had a shirt and tie, so we all ended up taking pictures in the same shirt and tie that Ms. Miller brought in for us. Mr. Durant also found out that none of us could afford to go to the prom, so he paid for the tickets for us and our dates, as well all of our tuxedo rentals. He used to get mad when he found out we were missing out on experiences he felt we were entitled to, just because we didn't have the money. We were all very grateful for his kindness and generosity.
Mr King was still around, as was Mr. Durant. Mr Durant found out that nobody got senior pictures because we couldn't afford them, so he paid for all of us to get pictures taken at Sears. None of us had a shirt and tie, so we all ended up taking pictures in the same shirt and tie that Ms. Miller brought in for us. Mr. Durant also found out that none of us could afford to go to the prom, so he paid for the tickets for us and our dates, as well all of our tuxedo rentals. He used to get mad when he found out we were missing out on experiences he felt we were entitled to, just because we didn't have the money. We were all very grateful for his kindness and generosity.
.
The end of our senior year was bittersweet. Yea we were all graduating, but at the same time Group was coming to an end. Speaking of graduation, Ms. Miller actually drove me to and from the ceremony because I had no other way there. After graduation we had a little party at Mr Durant's house to celebrate the success of Group. We ate, laughed, reminisced about the past, and we talked about the future. That would end up being the last time we would all get together.
The end of our senior year was bittersweet. Yea we were all graduating, but at the same time Group was coming to an end. Speaking of graduation, Ms. Miller actually drove me to and from the ceremony because I had no other way there. After graduation we had a little party at Mr Durant's house to celebrate the success of Group. We ate, laughed, reminisced about the past, and we talked about the future. That would end up being the last time we would all get together.
.
It is 11 years later, and a lot has happened since then. Mr. King, Mr, Durant, and Ms. Miller were able to successfully lead us to adulthood, but unfortunately some members of the Group would suffer from no longer having the guidance and support that Group provided.
It is 11 years later, and a lot has happened since then. Mr. King, Mr, Durant, and Ms. Miller were able to successfully lead us to adulthood, but unfortunately some members of the Group would suffer from no longer having the guidance and support that Group provided.
.
I have already spoken about how Tramell was convicted of bank robbery charges, and was sentenced to 41 years in prison. Well Josh pleaded guilty to an accessory after the fact charge in that same case, and is currently doing time for it. Elliot ended up shooting and killing a school teacher during a robbery in the parking lot of a mall. He was sentenced to life in prison.
I have already spoken about how Tramell was convicted of bank robbery charges, and was sentenced to 41 years in prison. Well Josh pleaded guilty to an accessory after the fact charge in that same case, and is currently doing time for it. Elliot ended up shooting and killing a school teacher during a robbery in the parking lot of a mall. He was sentenced to life in prison.
.
Other than that, everyone else is doing alright. Sheldon graduated from college. I think Mark did too. I see Mark all of the time, and I know he is doing well and staying out of trouble. Deante moved to Virginia where he is currently living with his long time girlfriend. Lamar got married and had a baby. I haven't heard from Veliano, and I don't think anyone else has either. I know he had a kid and a girl, and I am confident he is settled down somewhere and doing just fine. And as for me... I am still here.
Other than that, everyone else is doing alright. Sheldon graduated from college. I think Mark did too. I see Mark all of the time, and I know he is doing well and staying out of trouble. Deante moved to Virginia where he is currently living with his long time girlfriend. Lamar got married and had a baby. I haven't heard from Veliano, and I don't think anyone else has either. I know he had a kid and a girl, and I am confident he is settled down somewhere and doing just fine. And as for me... I am still here.
.
Group was a great experience, and I am really thankful that I had the opportunity to be a part of it. Not only did I learn life skills, how to express myself, and talk out my problems, I also learned that there are some really good people in this world. I learned there are people who really care about humanity, and the prosperity of future generations. We need more people like Mr. King, Mr. Durant, and Ms Miller in this world. Looking back on how I benefited from their guidance and support has inspired me to become one of those people.
Group was a great experience, and I am really thankful that I had the opportunity to be a part of it. Not only did I learn life skills, how to express myself, and talk out my problems, I also learned that there are some really good people in this world. I learned there are people who really care about humanity, and the prosperity of future generations. We need more people like Mr. King, Mr. Durant, and Ms Miller in this world. Looking back on how I benefited from their guidance and support has inspired me to become one of those people.
.
I haven't spoken to Mr. King, Mr. Durant, or Ms. Miller since Group ended. Now that I have written about them, I am going to make a point to contact them, just so I can say thank you.
.
Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned....
Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned....
No comments:
Post a Comment