I went to Olive Garden last night. They had this meat and pasta all you can eat special for 9.99. It was delicious. I had three servings. I ate two of them, but the third ended up being just too much for me. Since I couldn't finish, I decided I would save the rest to take to work.
Earlier today when I went on break, I ate the rest of the food. It tasted just as good as it did last night. It was angel hair pasta, mixed with five cheese marinara sauce and some meatballs. The pasta was still soft and the meatballs were still juicy. I washed it all down with some ice cold water. I was good.
So I go back to my desk, and proceed to browse the internet like I always do. After a couple of minutes, my stomach started rumbling and making noise. I had just finished eating, so I know my stomach wasn't trying to tell me I was hungry. After a few more minutes and a few more rumbles, I realized what was going on. I had to take a shit.
I remained cool. I looked down at the clock, and saw that I had four hours left in my shift. I told myself to be strong, and just wait it out until I got home. I had done it before. I tried to do whatever I could to keep my mind off the the feeling I was feeling. I got back on the internet. It was a slow sports day, and ESPN.com didn't have anything going on. Nothing good on CNN either. Every once in a while I would get that feeling of discomfort in my stomach, and I would have to tighten up my whole body until the feeling went away. I tried to sit in different positions, but no matter how I sat, that feeling would return. Time was going so slow. Each minute that passed felt like an hour. I joined my coworkers conversation thinking that would help, but I remained uneasy. While we were all talking, my stomach rumbled and made a noise. I immediately started beat-boxing, so they wouldn't be able to tell it was my stomach that was making the noise. So embarrassing. At this point I was hot, I was sweating, and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to go and I had to go NOW. I stood up, looked at my phone like I was getting an important phone call, and walked away as fast as I could.
I didn't go to the closest bathroom, because I didn't want anyone to see me. I ended up going to one that was all the way in the back of the building. I ran in, and I was happy to see that it was empty. I go to one of the stalls, and quickly put some toilet paper on the seat. Even though the janitors keep the bathrooms very clean, there was no way I was going to let my skin touch the seat. I sit down, and this feeling of relief comes over me. I made it.
While I am sitting there taking care of business, somebody walks in. Now I thought this was a bathroom nobody went to, but I guess I was wrong. I just so happened to be wearing some limited edition Kobe Bryant sneakers, which are white, black, and bright yellow. If somebody would see those sneakers, they would know it was me. So as soon as I heard the door open, I put my feet up. Whoever came in just so happened to sit in the stall right next to me. I faked a cough, just to let them know someone was there. They didn't seem to care though, because they sat right down and started doing their thing. They were grunting and making noises like they were in their bathroom at home. Even though I was done, I decided to let them finish before I got up. So here I am sitting uncomfortably in this tight stall with my feet up, sweating, waiting for this other person to finish. Since they were taking their time, I decided that I was going to just make a break for it. So I cleaned myself up, and walked out of the stall to quickly wash my hands. When I started walking, I realized my leg was asleep! I get to the sink and turn on the water, and just kind of stand there because my leg is still numb. By that time I hear a flush, and the person who was sitting next me comes out of the bathroom. I knew the person. It was actually an older gentleman I used to work with. He looks at me and says, "how about those Giant's." We proceed to engage in a little small talk while washing our hands, then he tells me to have a good day and walks out.
All of a sudden everything was alright. I stopped sweating. My leg was no longer numb, and I didn't have that uneasy feeling in my stomach anymore. The gentleman who came in actually made me feel good about the decision I had made. At that moment, it was officially ok to take a shit at work. I have come to the realization that I am human, it is natural, and I shouldn't be embarrassed. Sure work may not be the best most desirable place to take a shit, but you gotta go what you gotta do sometimes.
So I get back to my desk and one of my coworkers says to me... "you ran out of here pretty fast and were gone for a while, is everything alright??? " I looked down at my phone and said, "yeah... long phone call." I know I lied. I was now comfortable enough to take a shit at work, but I still wasn't comfortable enough to admit it.
Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned...
Earlier today when I went on break, I ate the rest of the food. It tasted just as good as it did last night. It was angel hair pasta, mixed with five cheese marinara sauce and some meatballs. The pasta was still soft and the meatballs were still juicy. I washed it all down with some ice cold water. I was good.
So I go back to my desk, and proceed to browse the internet like I always do. After a couple of minutes, my stomach started rumbling and making noise. I had just finished eating, so I know my stomach wasn't trying to tell me I was hungry. After a few more minutes and a few more rumbles, I realized what was going on. I had to take a shit.
I remained cool. I looked down at the clock, and saw that I had four hours left in my shift. I told myself to be strong, and just wait it out until I got home. I had done it before. I tried to do whatever I could to keep my mind off the the feeling I was feeling. I got back on the internet. It was a slow sports day, and ESPN.com didn't have anything going on. Nothing good on CNN either. Every once in a while I would get that feeling of discomfort in my stomach, and I would have to tighten up my whole body until the feeling went away. I tried to sit in different positions, but no matter how I sat, that feeling would return. Time was going so slow. Each minute that passed felt like an hour. I joined my coworkers conversation thinking that would help, but I remained uneasy. While we were all talking, my stomach rumbled and made a noise. I immediately started beat-boxing, so they wouldn't be able to tell it was my stomach that was making the noise. So embarrassing. At this point I was hot, I was sweating, and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to go and I had to go NOW. I stood up, looked at my phone like I was getting an important phone call, and walked away as fast as I could.
I didn't go to the closest bathroom, because I didn't want anyone to see me. I ended up going to one that was all the way in the back of the building. I ran in, and I was happy to see that it was empty. I go to one of the stalls, and quickly put some toilet paper on the seat. Even though the janitors keep the bathrooms very clean, there was no way I was going to let my skin touch the seat. I sit down, and this feeling of relief comes over me. I made it.
While I am sitting there taking care of business, somebody walks in. Now I thought this was a bathroom nobody went to, but I guess I was wrong. I just so happened to be wearing some limited edition Kobe Bryant sneakers, which are white, black, and bright yellow. If somebody would see those sneakers, they would know it was me. So as soon as I heard the door open, I put my feet up. Whoever came in just so happened to sit in the stall right next to me. I faked a cough, just to let them know someone was there. They didn't seem to care though, because they sat right down and started doing their thing. They were grunting and making noises like they were in their bathroom at home. Even though I was done, I decided to let them finish before I got up. So here I am sitting uncomfortably in this tight stall with my feet up, sweating, waiting for this other person to finish. Since they were taking their time, I decided that I was going to just make a break for it. So I cleaned myself up, and walked out of the stall to quickly wash my hands. When I started walking, I realized my leg was asleep! I get to the sink and turn on the water, and just kind of stand there because my leg is still numb. By that time I hear a flush, and the person who was sitting next me comes out of the bathroom. I knew the person. It was actually an older gentleman I used to work with. He looks at me and says, "how about those Giant's." We proceed to engage in a little small talk while washing our hands, then he tells me to have a good day and walks out.
All of a sudden everything was alright. I stopped sweating. My leg was no longer numb, and I didn't have that uneasy feeling in my stomach anymore. The gentleman who came in actually made me feel good about the decision I had made. At that moment, it was officially ok to take a shit at work. I have come to the realization that I am human, it is natural, and I shouldn't be embarrassed. Sure work may not be the best most desirable place to take a shit, but you gotta go what you gotta do sometimes.
So I get back to my desk and one of my coworkers says to me... "you ran out of here pretty fast and were gone for a while, is everything alright??? " I looked down at my phone and said, "yeah... long phone call." I know I lied. I was now comfortable enough to take a shit at work, but I still wasn't comfortable enough to admit it.
Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned...
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