My turn...

I already know what is coming as I make the right turn onto 2ND St. I roll down my windows and lower the music to prepare myself for the inevitable. I pull up in front of my son's house, and here comes Koi jumping off the porch. He then leans into the passenger side window to ask me the exact same question he always does.

"Can Tajon and Khalfani come?"

Tajon is my son's best friend. He is 11 years old. His father is nowhere to be found. His mother is in prison. His aunt is his primary caretaker, even though she doesn't have a place of her own. They both live with his grandmother, in one of the worst neighborhoods in town.

Khalfani is my son's cousin. He is nine years old. His father is always in and out of jail. When he is out, he isn't around too much anyway. His mother spends a lot of her time at work trying to make ends meet. So Khalfani usually spends most of his time at my son's house.

Now as Koi is asking me this question, I look to the left and I see Tajon. He is leaning up against the railing with this nervous look on his face. He has his hands behind his back, probably because he has his fingers crossed. I look to the right and I see Khalfani. He is on the other side of the screen door trying not be seen, but at the same time trying to be close enough to hear my response. I then take a glance in my rear view mirror. I see a bunch of young drug dealers smoking weed, staring down every car that rides down the block. When I look out the front window, I see crackheads walking around like zombies on Halloween. After my quick observation of the situation, I say to Koi what I always say when he asks me the question he always asks.

"Tell them to come on."

Once they get in the car, Tajon and Khalfani are always smiling. They don't even care where we go. They are just excited to have the opportunity to get off the block for a while.

As we are driving, it takes at a maximum of about 90 seconds for the next inevitable question to be asked. No longer than the amount of time it takes me to drive to the stop sign on 3rd and Linden, Koi will say...

"Dad... can we get something to eat?"

I'm not at all surprised. I knew it was coming. Khalfani and Tajon then take a peek at me through the rear view mirror, to try to get a read on what my answer will be. I then look into the back seat, and ask Khalfani what he ate today. I don't even know why I ask, because I already know what his reply will be. It doesn't matter if it is 9am or 3pm, he will give me the exact same response every single time.

"I ate cereal."

These kids never eat. I will usually end up taking them to my house for a meal. If I am feeling generous that day, I may even take them all to McDonald's or Little Caesers. No matter what they eat, I know they will always eat it all. And if I don't eat all my food, I can always count on one of them to eat the rest for me.

After that we will either go to the park, or go to my house depending on the weather. If there is an open gym, or if I have a basketball or flag football game, I will take them with me. When we just go to my house, they like playing the wii, shooting baskets on Maecee's indoor hoop, and watching funny videos on youtube. They always end up being loud, spilling something, and making a little mess. They frustrate Nani sometimes to the point where she will have to leave the house. I can take it though, because I already knew those things were going to happen when I picked them up.

Every single time I pick up my son, I can expect the exact same thing from him and his crew. On the flip side, they can always expect the exact same thing from me. Every time I get them together, I talk to them. I use those times as teaching opportunities to talk about life.

I talk to them about the young drug dealers on the block. I explain to them that they may have the new Jordans and expensive cars now, but one way or another that will all eventually come to an end. The people who live that lifestyle either end up dead or in jail. Even when a drug dealer gets out of jail, those mistakes still effect them for the rest of their lives. Those charges on your record will prevent a person who is matured and who is really trying to do well from getting a job, a student loan, among many other things. I give them examples of people they all know who fell victim to the game, to further prove my claim.

I encourage them to work hard. Nothing in this world is free, and nothing comes to people by accident. You can't lie, cheat, and steal to get by in life. I unfortunately have Tramell to use as an example of this when trying to get my point across. Hard work builds character, and gives people a greater sense of satisfaction when a goal is reached the right way.

I talk to them the importance of education and knowledge. Those two things are the foundation for their future. I tell them it is just as important to absorb the things they are taught as it is to get good grades. An education coupled with a strong knowledge base provides more options and opportunities for an individual. Those things are what help people achieve their dreams.

I talk to them about sex. I tell them it is ok to wait. I always use myself as an example. Koi knows I love him with all my heart, but having him at such a young age limited my college opportunities. My mom still has a box full of letters from colleges all over the country who showed an interest in me joining their respective football programs. The kids get a kick out of looking at where I possibly could have gone. Having a child changed all that. I also make sure they understand that if they do experiment, that they should protect themselves by wearing a condom. The feeling you get from having sex is not worth carrying around a disease for the rest of your life.

I encourage them to be leaders, not followers. There are going to be situations where they are going to have to make tough decisions. I just have to make sure when those times come, they are ready to make the right choice. They can't worry about what the crowd is doing. When they are asked to sell drugs, rob someone, or smoke weed, they have to understand no matter how strong the peer pressure is, that it is ok to say no.

So every time I get my son, I know he will ask for Tajon and Khalfani to come. I know that they will be hungry, and I know I will have to readjust my monthly budget to feed all them. I know that they are going to be loud, and I know they are going to make a mess. Despite all of that, I have to take them. It is my turn to be James Kostic, Kenny Kostic, Jasper Drummond, and Peter Dixon. It is my turn to be a father figure to the kids of the community. Tajon and Khalfani are good kids. Two good kids who happen to be in two tough situations. There are all kind of negative influences around them, so it is important they can get away and experience something positive every chance they get. It is important that they are talked to about situations in life that they are going to come across. They need the influence of a positive male role model who has been through the same things they will go through. If they stay around the way, it is only a matter of time before the influence and allure of the fast life will manipulate and eventually get the best of them.

I can't let that happen.

Ok that's all for now... thank you for visiting and stay tuned...